It was a horrible week at work
But having calmed my shit down over the weekend and having the Wise-Me review what and where went wrong with the Pride-Me, clearly shows that I still have much to learn at work
Long story (and tweaked context for confidentiality)... an indirect superior that I had been working with for a long time, grilled me for something that he thought had been completed some time ago.
When he didn't get the "right answer" that he was expecting from me, he started to ask WHY the shit wasn't done yet.
I went into details telling him that we were given wrong info by another dept, and I had laid the ground work to clear their shit before we can get to the answer he wanted, and he was copied in the emails too.
He lost it and started to question every single thing that I did, and asked me to provide the relevant documentation, which I dutifully did, 6x over, with time stamps organised in chronological order.
Still, not the answer that he wanted, and he pulled me into a 1-1 meeting asking me for the answer he wanted. Meeting didn't go well and I became extremely frustrated at why a one time strong ally had suddenly changed into a stubborn bull that refuses to see the 1001 pieces of evidence that were placed in his face, and just want to bulldoze his way to get his expected answer.
In the 2nd external meeting on the same day, he went ahead to commit to a key customer (with extremely poor credit, that just made a 1 year payment for the last 12 months monthly instalment payment) that a product feature (which is NOT ready yet) is ready for the customer to use today, with 3 months deferred payment terms, in whatever kind of currency that they wish to pay in, to whomever in the company that they wish to pay to.
I was questioned why I didn't go and understand what was this customer's pain, which I explained that it was well documented together with our local sales person, that the customer had a ungrounded fear of our bank devulging his contact details to his competitor.
Good thing is that the superior wanted me to send the meeting minutes out after a 3rd internal call on the same day. I just wrote whatever he committed and distributed to the wider audience (credit, finance, operations) on his words and commitments, at verbatim.
Reactions came in fast n furious as expected.
Clarifications and warnings came, stating the exact same words that I had used. But they received the same stubborn bull reaction too.
So everyone concluded that things were getting confusing and wanted me to organise a meeting call to clarify matters.
"Great. Just the audience that I needed to back me up"
The superior called me in for another 1-1 the next day, and after both of us had calmed down a bit. He spoke of observing my "changed behaviour" that I was getting defensive instead of being open like what I used to be. He still didn't want to hear any explanations on what happened or where went wrong. So I just pointed out to him that he didn't provide the resources that he had promised to commit to make our project a successful one. We went away from this meeting with a follow up from my side to write down what I needed from him.
The 3rd call still has not taken place yet, but I took some time to summarise all the lengthy emails into a 1 page visual process and sent it to all through the calendar invite. Received positive response from close colleagues on the clarity.
From this LONGGGGGG story, there were numerous observations:
1) When in the face of being picked-on, Pride-Me was obsessed with being right instead of being expedient. Bad choice to choose Justice over Political correctness
2) Pride-Me was too emotionally charged and got defensive, and went head on with a charging bull
3) Pride-Me expected the same old reasonable behaviour from the indirect superior that he had worked with for years. He has changed. Remember the book, Who Moved My Cheese
4) Pride-Me didn't realise that my customer in this instance is the indirect superior. Don't expect the customer to understand u, it's your job to understand the customer, what he wants, and give it to him to close the damned order
When a stubborn bull is charging at you, instead of trying to be a brainless warrior and tackle it head on, be like a bullfighter. Guide the bull to where you want him to charge to with the red flag. Let it ram into the wall if there's a need. I don't advocate back stabbing though. Just don't freaking stand in the way and tank the charging damage!
If all fails, just roll over and pretend to die. Live to fight another day.
Pride-Me wants to win every single battle.
Wise-Me chooses the important ones to win
