1st proper swim coaching for Ryan

It has been a long wish of mine to teach Ryan how to swim, ever since I became a swim coach.

Ryan never really took to the water, and was even slightly water phobic, thus I had been receiving non-stop questions along the line of "you are a swim coach, your son must be a good swimmer too"

Pool sessions in the past were mostly confined to the pool at Sis's condo, usually when all the kids will be crowding around me to play, and Ryan will shy away at one corner to play with his water gun.

Even the previous 1-1 session at Pasir Ris swimming complex didn't went well, simply due to the fact that Ryan still wasn't mentally resilient enough to put in enough effort and tenacity to learn a difficult life skill, which requires a long period of learning, rather than something that he can pick up in a minute or 2.

After about 4 months of classes with People Impact, I can tell the obvious improvement in Ryan's behaviour on accepting challenges and not easily giving up when asked to.

So, I took some time off this afternoon to pick up Ryan earlier from school to go for a 1-1 swim coaching session at SAFRA Yishun, when the pool isn't crowded.

Concepts on coaching adults to swim can be adapted and used on kids as well.
The fundamental flow is still similar, even with the TI method, though the basics have to be even more elaborate, explicit and abridged, since kids will not be able to understand complex concepts.

Instead of jumping straight into learning strokes, which most swim coaches will do, I focused on getting Ryan more confident and comfortable in water first.

He is a timid and cautious boy when it comes to physical activities, thus will require a fair bit of prompting and experimentation, before he is willing to adopt and learn new subskills.

Today's curriculum:

• Basic prone flutter kick (no cycling kick)
• Bubbling out underwater in upright position
• Bouncing Bear
• Crab Walk

Part of these are probably part of the old CSA curriculum that I had previously taught, but honestly I don't have much recollection of what was in the curriculum. These were by experience and gut feel on what will help Ryan to gain water confidence through play, rather than over focus on achieving a perfect flutter kick or breaststroke kick.

I was pleasantly surprised that Ryan eventually managed to do all of the above and even took the initiative to practice more at the end of the session when I asked him to leave the pool.

Gotta spend more time with the boy and get him to be able to swim a simple breaststroke before end of 2018

Precious Princess Rainie

My precious princess Rainie has finally descended into my world on 8 Jan 2015!

It only seemed like yesterday when Ryan was just born, and now we have a new member in the family!

Gonna get real busy again but I'm loving every moment of it!

2014 Review

Jan -
Feb - Family Retreat at Hong Kong
Mar - Completed 2XU 42km run
Apr - Completed Putra Jaya 70.3
May -
Jun -
Jul - IPPT gold again!
Aug -  Visited Yosemite
Sep - Completed TriFactor OD. Started Stock class and swim class
Oct - Holiday @ Bali with Dear & Ryan
Nov - Done SwimExpoAsia (not considered as completed due to a DNF in 1 race)
Dec - Completed 13th installation of SCMS and crossing the finish line in hand with Weicheng for the 1st time


As I get more experienced in Triathlon, I get more selective of the races that I join.
Racing for race experience isn't necessary for me anymore.

How did I fare on my 2014 To Do List:

Clock 2 x 70.3 Races - Only managed to do 1 this year. Wanted to do a 2nd one but have to put it off till next year as Lishan was pregnant and it won't be feasible to have a Race Holiday.

Test a proper business idea 
Plucked up the courage to approach a couple of vendors for product distributorship.
The initial business plan was good, but couldn't reach a mutual agreement on pricing so I decided to drop the idea.
On hindsight, it was good that I didn't forcibly enter a bad business, as it wouldn't be sustainable at the prices that I was given. No point jumping in when the conditions ain't right. Especially after seeing my BIL sports venture fall through after 1 year of effort.

1 Full overseas trip with Dear and Ryan
Bali!

Expand portfolio by 75%
The initial goal was pretty random when I first decided on 75%.
I'm glad that I went in the other direction of going for proper classes and learning more rather than just going after illusion of having a bigger portfolio = a bigger safety blanket
Bigger portfolio of bad stocks will just push me further away from my goal.

Pick up martial arts
This was replaced by my swim and stock classes.
The original motivation for martial arts was to keep things fresh and to keep learning new stuff. Martial arts definitely is still on my list as one of the to do items, but choosing the correct skill to learn at the correct time, and with time-skill compounding (it works like interest compounding), it is a correct choice to pick up trading and swimming first than martial arts.
Learning to trade properly earlier means I got more time for compounding effects.
Learning good swim techniques means I get more focused on what I should be doing in my Ironman trainings rather than just going after aerobic & anaerobic gains which come and goes.

Clock 3 interviews
Now this is something which I should have really done much better.
I'm definitely too far into my comfort zone that even though I kept saying that I want to look for new jobs but didn't even bother to find the time to update my resume and send it out, much less spend time looking for openings.
However, the good thing is that some of the extra stuff which I did, beyond my scope of work, has unexpectedly opened new horizons for me, as it lead me to new roles and even possibly new business that I can operate.
On the 3x interviews target that I had set, I had only managed to do 1x.
And it was an internal interview, which went pretty well.
Hopefully I will get some good news within the next 2 weeks.

Time to write 2015 goals!

Fantastic Holiday @ Bali

Just returned from a 4D3N holiday at Bali with Ryan, Dear and MIL.
It was a fantastic holiday especially for Ryan. He was super happy throughout the entire trip (except during the flight back home)

Thinking back of my previous trip to Bali, which was done about 5 years ago, for my wedding shoot, when Dear and I still had the time to go for white water rafting and surfing, this time it was more subdued and relaxed, with a focus to go much slower than what we did years ago.

I guess MIL was the 2nd most happy person for this trip (after Ryan boy). She was so fascinated and happy with all the foodstuff and clothings that she could buy from the local markets at extreme low prices. It was after a while then I started to understand that nice & expensive stuff is not what makes her happy. It is the joy of getting extreme value for money (read: ULTRA CHEAP buys aka SUPER BIG DISCOUNTS) that makes her happy. My mum does the same too. Probably our mothers' generation are too used to scrimping and saving for their whole life, that is why they derive so much joy from amazingly low priced discovery. So I just played along and kept emphasizing to her on how cheap the food is at the restaurants that we ate at, compared to the price that we will pay for the same thing back in SG.
$4.70 for a chicken Ravioli, $10 for a Risotto, $10 for a huge chilli crab with fries, $9 for a medium sized red snapper, $2 for gelato, etc.

Obviously the small boy is the happiest one in the group. From the moment he stepped into the villa, he just kept running around, in and out of each room, laughing all the time. And he continued doing that for all 4 days that we stayed there. He was very cooperative and well behaved (except during meal time) for the entire trip.

Best part of the trip for me was when I left Dear and MIL at the foot massage centre for a 1 hour massage, and I brought Ryan together with me back to Legian beach for a walk. After carrying him on the hip seat for most part of the day (and he didn't complain much), I thought it will be nice for him to be able to walk on the sandy beach after seeing other older kids running around freely where he wasn't allowed to. So after telling him that he had to hold on to my hand after I placed him on the ground, he got extremely excited and elated, and started to pull me along to run on the beach.

It was a genuine moment of bliss.

We ran and ran and ran, and Ryan just pulled me along, looking back at me at times and giving me his most sunshine, boyish and happy smile. Ryan melted daddy's heart just like that.


Although I did not get to do any of the water sports stuff which I'd have loved to do on Bali's famed beaches, the run with Ryan was rewarding enough for me for this entire trip.

Of course Dear will have enjoyed the trip much as well. It is a long awaited break away from work, and an even longer wait to return to the much anticipated Ultimo Italian restaurant that we dined at 5 years ago. The only downside is that we walked a little too much for her. Carrying a heavy tummy ain't easy.

Next holiday: Cebu Philippines in July/Aug 2015.

Shifting priorities

Plans to do another 70.3 has been shelved, so my remaining races for the year will be TriFactor OD next month and StanChart 42k in Dec.

I had never worried excessively about my finances until Ryan was born.
Becoming a dad and husband means the extra responsibility of making sure that I provide enough for my family, which will become increasingly challenging as the kids grow up.

Though I have started to invest a bit in the last 2 years, but it has been more of simple buying for dividend payouts rather than fully understanding what I invested it. To put it in simple terms, it is almost equivalent to gambling but on a much lesser level.

Attended a short free class a couple of weeks ago, and decided to invest in getting myself educated and signed up for a short course to learn how to trade and invest better. It may save me lots of headache and heartache that may result from bad investments in the future.

Learning to better manage my finances will be important.
Apart from trying to increase my income, the other aspect of controlling expenses and money outflow will be critical.
After exhausting the child tax relief within 2 years and racking up high income tax again, I have started to take tax reduction planning more seriously.
Been reading up a bit on voluntary contributions to CPF and depositing into SRS, which are good means to reduce/defer taxation.

Despite the fact that I may not fully support or agree with some of the CPF policies, there is no escaping from the fact that everyone has to meet the Minimum Sum. So instead of grousing against the policy, it will be better to make it work for me.

CPF SA cash contribution
Benefits:

• Up to $7000 tax relief can be derived from cash contribution
• Good 5% interest rate on the first $40,000 in SA, and 4% for sums above $40,000
• Counts towards Minimum Sum

Disadvantages:

Locked up till retirement and become annuity (uncontrollable factor so no point fighting against this)

Coming to think of it, this is a really good scheme for retirement planning.
Now I kick myself for not looking into this years ago when I broke the higher income tax bracket and paid so much tax to the gov for a "Thank you for your contribution towards Nation building"
I'll make sure that I won't make the same mistake again this year come Dec when it is time to make the final changes towards my income tax relief.

CPF SRS 
Benefits:

• Tax deferment up to $12750 per year
• Can be used for investment purposes (except for property)
• Only 50% is taxable on withdrawal
• Enforced savings in a sense since I won't be able to spend this pool of money
• Flexible contribution compared to an endowment fund where I have to contribute at a fixed rate

Disadvantages:

• Early withdrawal penalty of 5% (except Death, Medical or bankruptcy issues)
• Locked in till retirement
• Possibly of higher taxation rates if my income falls in a higher tax bracket (not a big issue since I don't expect to work forever so my active income at 62 is probably much lower than compared to my prime)
• Possibility of higher tax rates than current levels when I'm 62 (uncontrollable factor and there is no certainty that this will happen so no point worrying about this)
• Investing is necessary. Cash deposit interest rate at 0.05% PA is horrendous and one will just be losing money to inflation this way.

A combination of these 2 will be able to help to substantially reduce the tax that I have to pay every year.
At least the money is still mine even though I can't touch it for the next 30 years.
Better than letting the government squander it away on Brompton bikes (that is more expensive than my racing bike!)


Instead of hoarding lots of cash through worrying about not having enough capital on hand when I eventually start my own business, it will be better to put these cash to good use instead of just wasting them away in cash savings accounts with extremely poor returns.

My 2014 To Do list included 2 sets of 70.3 races.
Since I'm not going to do another 70.3 this year, learning to better manage my finances will be a good replacement.
Anyway it is best to start proper finance management and investments early, so that compounding over time will works it's magic.

I had been procrastinating for years on better managing my finances. It is high time I look seriously into this.
Another good case of facing up to my fears (or rather short-comings in this case) rather than just running away or pretending not to see them :)

Happy weekend and Ryan is 2 years old!

Celebrated Ryan's 2th birthday with a simple home buffet party at MIL's place during the previous Sunday.
Kept it relatively simple and low key this time with just relatives.
Ryan was still recovering from his fever so he probably didn't enjoy it as much as he should.

Celebrations in his child care center was done on Tuesday afternoon.
Pretty nice to see Ryan do the handing out of the goodie bags to his classmates, even though he didn't really look too excited when doing so.

Guess his behaviour takes after me when I was at his age; not that excited or super sociable when with huge crowds.

Ryan subsequently recovered and we managed to bring him out for some quality family time after a month-long disruption with him, dear and me taking turns to fall sick.

He was significantly happier when we brought him out to visit Marina Sq, Suntec, Marina barrage. It was a long time since he was smiling throughout the day and being super cooperative.

Sunday was a simple cycling affair at ECP but guess he didn't enjoy it as much as dear could not cycle with us. Ryan prefers to have daddy and mummy spending time together with him!

More happy weekends for Ryan ahead!



And, I still miss my Ah Di.
He will have turned 17 years old last Friday.
I know he will be watching over the family spiritually.

Cutie Ryan

It just gets better.

It was a moment of cuteness overload and sweetness this morning.

After changing into his school uniform, he just ran in and out of the bedroom, and at one point, hid behind the wall from our view, only showing his hand and saying "No More".

Ryan was learning how to play hide and seek with us.

So sweet......

Fears

Everyone has their own fears/ worries.

For some, it is so bad that it consumes them and it affects their daily lives.

Then there are those know these fears but choose to run away from them. As long as they don't make eye contact with fear, they think that fear will not catch up with them. Out of sight, out of mind.

Another group are those who dare to face up to their fears, and take daily actions to improve themselves and dispel their fears.


For me, I'm always moving in and out of the latter 2 groups.
At times, I procrastinate on important issues for the sake of not daring to think further, as the more I think about my fears, the more it may serve to make me more fearful for the task seems too big and daunting to handle.
Some times, when epiphany strikes, clarity of thought will help me to dispel and work through my fears. Seemingly impossible tasks are suddenly broken down into chewable and workable bits.

Maybe I should meditate more.
Only with a clear mind will epiphany strike more often, which will help me to sort out my fears.

Time to swim/bike/run more without the stress of preparing for races.
This is my meditation.

Now I understand the term "Terrible Two"

Seems like Ryan is throwing tantrums more frequently nowadays for no reason.

He had always been pretty strong willed, in the sense that he doesn't take instructions and will melt down if he is forced to do something that he doesn't fancy.

Ryan's teacher commented that he doesn't mix with other kids at school and doesn't follow instructions.
And his usual contempt for whomever is feeding him his food, coupled with frequent tantrums for almost every single issue, and his refusal to address any of his caretakers apart from papa and mummy, really got me worried Ryan may be getting out of control if nobody is going to discipline him and teach him what is right/wrong.

He had another meltdown on Wednesday night again when I was trying to guide him out of the bathroom after his bath, by holding his hands and gently pulling him in the direction out of the toilet. And he started to cry. After he lost his temper again while I was trying to get him dressed up.

I was pretty upset with how Ryan was behaving recently, and thought that he needed someone to discipline him. So I thought that since he was inconsolable, I will hold him in the same spot and let him to cry his heart out and learn how to calm down in a controlled manner, rather than letting him has his own way all the time just by throwing tantrums.
Eventually Ryan got tired after his 40 minutes long tantrum and started to scale down his cries, then I brought him out to see mummy and claim his bed time milk.


What I did was probably very hard old school style.
I'm not sure if this is effective, or whether Ryan is still too young for hardline discipline methods.
While I had the best intentions for Ryan in doing so, it really pains my heart to have to see him getting ultra upset for that 40 mins.

Did a lot of reading today on terrible twos and inconsolable tantrums, and finally came across an article which gave a good scientific explanation on terrible two and how to best address it.
Hopefully I'll improve my parenting skills and Ryan will quickly learn and ride out of the TT stage.

Ryan is my precious.
I must make sure that he grows up to be a well balanced and healthy person.
That's the best gift that I can give to him

Awesome quote from Patrick

Excellent words...