Fears

Everyone has their own fears/ worries.

For some, it is so bad that it consumes them and it affects their daily lives.

Then there are those know these fears but choose to run away from them. As long as they don't make eye contact with fear, they think that fear will not catch up with them. Out of sight, out of mind.

Another group are those who dare to face up to their fears, and take daily actions to improve themselves and dispel their fears.


For me, I'm always moving in and out of the latter 2 groups.
At times, I procrastinate on important issues for the sake of not daring to think further, as the more I think about my fears, the more it may serve to make me more fearful for the task seems too big and daunting to handle.
Some times, when epiphany strikes, clarity of thought will help me to dispel and work through my fears. Seemingly impossible tasks are suddenly broken down into chewable and workable bits.

Maybe I should meditate more.
Only with a clear mind will epiphany strike more often, which will help me to sort out my fears.

Time to swim/bike/run more without the stress of preparing for races.
This is my meditation.

Now I understand the term "Terrible Two"

Seems like Ryan is throwing tantrums more frequently nowadays for no reason.

He had always been pretty strong willed, in the sense that he doesn't take instructions and will melt down if he is forced to do something that he doesn't fancy.

Ryan's teacher commented that he doesn't mix with other kids at school and doesn't follow instructions.
And his usual contempt for whomever is feeding him his food, coupled with frequent tantrums for almost every single issue, and his refusal to address any of his caretakers apart from papa and mummy, really got me worried Ryan may be getting out of control if nobody is going to discipline him and teach him what is right/wrong.

He had another meltdown on Wednesday night again when I was trying to guide him out of the bathroom after his bath, by holding his hands and gently pulling him in the direction out of the toilet. And he started to cry. After he lost his temper again while I was trying to get him dressed up.

I was pretty upset with how Ryan was behaving recently, and thought that he needed someone to discipline him. So I thought that since he was inconsolable, I will hold him in the same spot and let him to cry his heart out and learn how to calm down in a controlled manner, rather than letting him has his own way all the time just by throwing tantrums.
Eventually Ryan got tired after his 40 minutes long tantrum and started to scale down his cries, then I brought him out to see mummy and claim his bed time milk.


What I did was probably very hard old school style.
I'm not sure if this is effective, or whether Ryan is still too young for hardline discipline methods.
While I had the best intentions for Ryan in doing so, it really pains my heart to have to see him getting ultra upset for that 40 mins.

Did a lot of reading today on terrible twos and inconsolable tantrums, and finally came across an article which gave a good scientific explanation on terrible two and how to best address it.
Hopefully I'll improve my parenting skills and Ryan will quickly learn and ride out of the TT stage.

Ryan is my precious.
I must make sure that he grows up to be a well balanced and healthy person.
That's the best gift that I can give to him