It has always been a wish of mine to get the whole family out together on a holiday. When was the last time it happened? Taiwan 2003/04? Malacca 2007?
The last few trips has always been incomplete.
Either missing Bro (Desaru) or Sis's family (Malacca) couldn't travel with us.
The feeling of the whole family staying together is priceless and filled with warmth.
天伦之乐 is something that cannot be quantified by any measure.
Seeing the kids and babies playing happily together, Dad and Mum having a well deserved break, us siblings getting more treasured bonding time, it is just outta of the world.
I hope that we will be able to make more family trips together before Bro moves back to the US.
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Been traveling a lot for work recently.
Always feel very guilty without fail whenever I have to leave for the airport. Maybe it is still easy for me now since he is still unable to differentiate if I'm just going to office or going to be away for a few days. I can imagine the pain if he cries next time when he knows I'll be away for days.
Perhaps he has not grown that attached to Daddy yet.
I would sometimes tear whenever I think of him when I'm overseas. Especially when going through his pictures on my phone while I'm dining alone.
Sometimes Ryan is not as warm to me after I return. Perhaps babies' memories are really short. He probably forgets a little part of me whenever I travel.
Really feels awful that I'm not doing a good job as his dad.
I really want to spend more time with him.
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Though it may be a good thing for myself that I'm unable to hear his cries when I'm sleeping, I feel very guilty that I unable to do more to help relieve the burden of taking care of Ryan at night.
Maybe it's because that I'm a bit deaf, or maybe my body just simply demands a lot of sleep.
I'm not sure if it is just plain laziness/sleepy head, or is it because of my T minor.
Perhaps in my subconsciousness, I think that endurance sports is the key to unlocking more energy in myself.
It is still a mystery to me why I can go on and on for hours in endurance sports, but find it extremely difficult to beat the Z monster whenever it beckons. On the few occasions that I summoned the extra energy to test Z monster limit, I end up with a fever or headache half the time.
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Finished watching the 2nd half the "Taxi Taxi" show on the plane yesterday.
It touches me that the 2 fathers in the show did so much for their loved sons.
One fell from the peak of his career and ended up as a taxi-driver, losing his career, confidence, self esteem, and worst of all, the respect of his son. Nonetheless he did not give up and kept striving to make life better for his family.
The other one is a happy-go-lucky guy, never planned for anything in life, and just took each day as they come. Or another term for it as they call it in the show, "kum kum". He didn't realize that his attitude in life becoming a bad influence and example of his son's life. After an accident to his crush, then he realized that can no longer drift along in life and made a determined effort to change for the better and plan for the future
What will I be willing to do for my boy?
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